사만다☆

It’s your birthday again.

As you get more and more popular, it also means you'll get more and more haters. Seeing you smile every day, it actually hurts. Hurtful comments comes up every other day and I'm sure you've seen them, I've always wondered, how do you actually get over them? Do you even get over them? But you'll always put up a smile every day, how do you actually do that..?

I never knew I'll try so hard to get to understand someone that's of a completely different world from me but something tells me that in this world, there won’t be a second person who’ll make me feel like this except you. When I first saw you, I never knew I’ll fall so deep. You came and settled yourself comfortably in my heart and refused to leave since then.

If I wasn’t your fan? There’s no ‘if’, we can never turn back time, even if we could, I’ll still choose to like you and be your fan. Fangirling, everyone says it’s a waste of money, a waste of time. But you’re laughing so brightly, how can it ever be a waste of time? Although I was too late to participate in your past, I’ll walk with you in your years to come.

Crying and laughing because of you, letting you affect my mood so easily, isn’t it a little silly? Even if I seem silly, seeing you grow every day, seeing your smile every day, there’s no regrets at all. You’ll always be worth it.

I love debut Jongin the most. Even though he seemed silly and stupid (he still is), an idol’s debut era is the most precious. As time goes by, you lose some things along the way and some which you can never get them back. For example, your childishness and naivety. And I’m willing to exchange my whole life for ten years of your childishness and naivety.

Jongin, to me, he’s still a kid. No matter how charismatic he seems on stage, it all shatters when he’s off stage. Well to me, Kai and Jongin is two very different people. Kai is a mask Jongin wears whenever he’s on stage. Jongin… Jongin is what he really is. That kid with the goofy smile, that kid whose eyes turn into little crescents, that kid who cries. The only similarity between Kai and Jongin is that, they are very, very, very hard-working. He’s not very handsome, if I throw him into a sea of people, you might not find him. His character is also nothing special, he looks cold but when he smiles, he’s like a kid. Sometimes he looks really stupid, he gets scared easily, when he’s mad, he likes to glare at people, but when he dances, he uses his whole heart to dance, he works hard to perfect every step, he don’t say it out when he’s injured, he bears the pain quietly, but the look on his face says everything. He looks like he doesn’t care at all but he cares more than anyone else. Although he’s not perfect, he’s not very special, but there’s one thing that is enough to make me like him forever, do you know what that is? It’s because he’s Kim Jongin. Because he’s Kim Jongin, I can definitely find him in a sea of people, because he’s Kim Jongin, everything he does is cute to me. Although he’s not the very best, he’ll always be one in a million in my eyes.

“I think one of the main reasons why I was able to debut in EXO-K was because I thoroughly enjoy what I do as opposed to just work hard at it.”

One of the reasons why I love Jongin is because of his passion for dance. Like he said, he enjoys dancing. To him, dancing is his life. When he dances, he glows. I never want dance to be just a job to him. I want him to dance because he wants to, because he loves to and not because his job requires him to.

“Q: What do you think is needed to be a charismatic man?Kai: Someone who is filled with enthusiasm towards their work or what they’re doing, a person who does their utmost best to do something!Q: What type of men do you find easiest to admire?Kai: Men who are very enthusiastic about their jobs!”

You, Jongin, is a man admired by many others.

"Everyone goes through hardships and there are so many difficulties in life. I know at such a young age that life isn’t gonna be easy. I might be shaken, and I know that there will be times when I want to give up, but I’m not going to break apart. I’m not going to give up and I’m going to strive on even stronger.”

Kim Jongin will never break apart.

I’m not your one and only but I can’t do without you. People asked why I love you so much, I can only answer, “Because it’s you, because it’s me.” I’m not your friend or family, but you’re more precious than anything because in this whole world, there is only one of you, how can I not treasure you? I might not be able to enter your world but you’re my whole world. I can’t do much for you but if you want, and if I have, I’ll do anything for you.

Happy birthday Jongin. I wish you a more successful year than 2013. I love you.

Credit for the quotes: taekai ♚